


Breaking News: Local Florida Man Strips and His Friends Are Not Pleased.

by wow_thats_angsty



Series: Sander Sides but it's Slice of Life. [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is So Done, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is So Done, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, Deceit | Janus Sanders is So Done, Gen, Logic | Logan Sanders is So Done, Morality | Patton Sanders Is Not Okay, Please Kill Me, Sexual Humor, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_thats_angsty/pseuds/wow_thats_angsty
Summary: No one wants to see Remus naked.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Sander Sides but it's Slice of Life. [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021257
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Breaking News: Local Florida Man Strips and His Friends Are Not Pleased.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Nudity (for obvious reasons), sexual humor, too much cussing coming from Patton (and the others), highly specific threats (specifically to shove something up someone’s ass). I don’t think there are anymore, please let me know.
> 
> Im so sorry.

Remus was bored. Nothing good ever happened when Remus was bored. 

\-----

The living room was quiet. Patton was baking cookies, Roman was lying on the floor, monologuing. Janus was actively listening to Roman because drama queens need to stick together, Virgil was lying down on the couch, tuning Roman out with his PG-13 music, and Logan was reading yet another mystery novel; he’d been trying to discover more mystery authors. 

“Roman, shut up.” Said Janus, holding a hand out and turning to the stairs. Roman made Offended Princey Noises™ and said, “Well I never!” 

Janus knew something was amiss, Remus had been far too quiet. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Virgil sat up from the couch, seemingly sniffing the air. The two turned to each other. Sharing a look that worried Roman and Logan. 

That’s when Remus strode down the stairs, pouting. Everyone turned to him (with the exception of Patton, who was focused entirely on his cookies). Janus and Virgil were eying him closely, trying to figure out what he was planning. When Remus started grinning, it was already too late. He jumped out of his clothes faster than any of them could look away. Leaving them to behold a very naked Remus. 

Logan simply put a hand over his eyes. Roman buried his head in the ground and yelled, “Yuck!” Virgil pulled his hoodie all the way over his head, so far that it blocked off his vision completely, he also yelled something but it was entirely incomprehensible. Janus closed his eyes and sighed, “Not this again.”

Remus smiled wickedly when Patton walked in with a tray of cookies. 

“Remus, what the fuck?” Said Patton, who dropped the cookies when he went to cover his eyes. The loud clattering sound startled the rest, who then all looked in Patton’s direction before immediately regretting it as a still naked Remus was very seductively (or at least  _ trying  _ to be seductive) bending over to pick up the fallen cookies. 

“God, no, why?” Shouted Roman, thoroughly done with Remus flirting with the others while totally nude. 

“Put your fucking clothes back on.” Said Logan, thoroughly done with Remus.

Janus, in a tone similar to someone scolding their Chihuahua for humping someone’s leg, said, “Remus, I swear to fuck, I will stick a Buzz Lightyear toy so far up your ass that you’ll taste plastic for weeks. And I’ll make sure that it won’t be enjoyable in the slightest.”

The highly specific threat did nothing to deter Remus from nudity. 

“Aww Janny, nothing you haven’t seen before!” 

Virgil groaned and held onto the hood of his hoodie for dear life, “Yeah, because you pulled this shit all the time.”

Patton gasped, one hand over his eyes and the other of his heart, clutching his imaginary pearls, “THIS HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE? REMUS, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” 

“That’s fairly believable coming from him.” Said Logan, adjusting his tie while his eyes were squeezed shut.

Remus groaned. “Come on! Being naked is no fun if people aren’t looking at you. And besides, we all look the same!” 

Roman scoffed in a very un-regal manner. “Accept that no one would like to see you naked. Not Virgil, not Logan, not Janus, not Patton, and  _ especially _ not me.” 

Remus snickered, “Maybe you don’t, but the others mi-“ 

Virgil, very audibly, shouted, “If I wasn’t into it the first two hundred times, then I’m probably not gonna be into it now!”

Logan simply shook his head, “I’m only sexually attracted to Crofters and deadlines. You are neither.” 

Janus shrugged, “You’re more like a toddler that I have to look after. And I don’t wanna fuck a toddler.” 

Patton shuddered, “No thanks, I just don’t like you.” 

Remus frowned and trudged over to the pile of clothes on the floor. Putting them back on slowly. 

Everyone slowly opened their eyes. Thankful that Remus had actually put his clothes back on. 

“Do you need help picking those up, Patton?” Asked Janus.

Patton sighed and said, “No, I’m good.” 

So things returned to normal, Remus’s… exploit went unremembered as it was quite the unremarkable sight. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> One of you please snap my neck.


End file.
